JEPPIAAR JOKES

நாம் அனைவரும் சத்யபாமா பொறியியல் கல்லூரியின் நிறுவனர் திரு. ஜேப்பியார் அவர்களை அறிவோம். அவரது ஆங்கிலப் புலமை குறித்து சில ஜோக்குகள் உண்டு. அவை உண்மையா என்பது எனக்கு தெரியாது. ஆனால் அவற்றை வாசித்ததில் சிரித்து சிரித்து வயிற்றுவலி வந்தது மட்டும் உண்மை.
அவற்றில் சி்ல…
#1. தனது குடும்பத்தினைப் பற்றி:
I have two daughters. Both of them are girls…
#2. கல்லூரி திடலில்:
— All of you, stand in a straight circle.
— There is no wind in the balloon.
— The girl with the mirror please come her… (Meaning: girl with spectacles).
#3. ஒரு மாணவனிடம், மிகவும் கோபமாக:
I talk, he talk, why you middle middle talk ?
#4. மாணவர்களுக்கு தண்டனை கொடுக்கும் பொழுது:
— You, rotate the ground four times…
— You, go and under-stand the tree…
— You three of you, stand together separately.
— Why are you late – say YES or NO …..
#5. சினிமா தியேட்டர் ஜோக்கு:
ஜேப்பியார் ஒரு முறை சினிமா பார்க்க தன் துணைவியாருடன் தியேட்டருக்கு சென்றார். அங்கே அவரது மாணவன் ஒருவனும் வந்திருந்தான். ஜேப்பியார் அவனைப் பார்த்தார். ஆனால் அவன் அவரைப் பார்க்கவில்லை. அடுத்த நாள், இதை அந்த மாணவனிடம் கீழ்கண்டவாறு சொன்னார்.
Yesterday I saw you with my wife at the Cinema தியர்
#6. வகுப்பறையில்:
— Open the doors of the window. Let the atmosphere come in.
— Open the doors of the window. Let the Air Force come in.
— Cut an apple into two equal halves – take the bigger half.
— Shhh… Quiet, boys…the principal just passed away in the corridor
— You, meet me behind the class. (meaning: AFTER the class .. )
— Both of u three, get out of the class.
— Close the doors of the windows please. I have winter in my nose today …
— Take Copper Wire of any metal especially of Silver…..
— Take 5 cm wire of any length….
#7. ஒரு முறை, ஜேப்பியார் தனது கல்லூரி விழாவிற்கு வருவதற்கு தாமதமானது. அதுவும், அவர் வந்து சேரும் முன்னரே விழா தொடங்கிவிட்டிருந்தது. உடனே, அவர் மேடைக்கு சென்று, இவ்வாறு தனது வருத்தத்தினைத் தெரிவித்தார்.
sorry i am late, because on the way my car hit 2 muttons (Meaning: goats)
#8. சத்யபாமா கல்லூரி தின விழா அன்று, அவர் பேசியவற்றிலிருந்து முத்தான ஒன்று:
This college strict u the worry no … u get good marks, i the happy, tomorrow u get good job, jpr the happy, tomorrow u marry i என்ஜாய்
#9. கடைசியான, ஆனால் கலக்கலான ஒரு ஜோக்:
st joseph freshyears தின விழாவில் அவர் பேசியது..
No ragging this college. anybody rag we arrest the போலீஸ்
#10. புதுசா சேர்த்தது:
— girl girl talk, boy boy talk, but no boy girl talk
— boy talking to girl telling cousin cousin….. — girl talking to boy telling cousin cousin…..
கொசுறு: பாவம், இதெல்லாம் கேக்க அந்த வெள்ளக்காரனுக்குத் தான் குடுத்து வக்கல.. 🙂

· I have four daughters all are females….

  • Fathers give girls fresh… I give fathers girls fresh… (Spoken on the opening day!)
  • When jesus born only some Christiany, one day all Christiany…
  • Girls girls jingle jingle , boys boys mingle mingle, girls boys no jingle mingle…
  • FIRING BEEDI PUTTING IN THE BODY… He meant that students have started to smoke n throw it on the guards after doin so… This was said when a meeting was held regarding a complaint following this matter!
  • On the stage – Two ppl were talking behind the stage… Suddenly he stops his Speech and turned back angrily: “I Talk; They Talk(audience) Why U Middle middle Talk???”
  • U BATHROOM SMOKE MEANS,I JPR KNOW…
  • During First year inaugurations – If Senior to rag the first year, then I arrest the police.
  • All standing under the tree whos whos class whos whos go
  • This was at some function in Panimalar Engg College: “Panimalar my mother – Mother food very nice – Panimalar food also very nice – One day i come panimalr with my wife and enjoy at mess”
  • On M.G.R’s birthday: “I & M.G.R very close – we eat in same plate – sleep in same bed”
  • Once in college day 2001, the mech guys where shouting ‘LIC heightu – Mechanical weightu’. Jeppiar said ‘LIC heightu arear also weightu’.
  • Boys fail in exam and Jeppiaar says (scolds in his own style) “You bayees, you Jaalee coming, Jaalee going. Unfit to this Caalege. Waste luggage!”
  • It happened once to me that Jeppiaar caught a student not wearin his tie. immediately JPR jumped up and said “IF U DINT TIE THE TIE,TIE THE TIE”
  • On some carol service before Christmas he said… “As we all know how the Mary got the Jesus… without the help of Joseph!!!”
  • Why students shdn’t smoke in campus: “You smoke church?? Nooooo!!!! You smoke temple????? Nooooo!!! THEN U DONT SMOKE COLLEGE; COLLLEGE EDUCATION TEMPLE”
  • All girls who do not wear their dupatta in V shape will be viewed seriously.
  • Jeppiaar… Comenting on the infrastructure of the college… “Rotate Sathyabama and see”.
  • His speech about Kargil widows: “All brothers standing border… Shooting, dieng… Child asking mummy… “Mummy, where is daddy”… Daddy coming body! Saying this he wiped his tears… We all broke into laughter…
  • I have 400 illegal daughters & 500 illegal sons of 1st year.
  • ONCE A PARENTS ASKED Y R U NOT KEEPIN TREES IN COLLEGE… HIS REPLY WAS… ONE BOY… ONE GIRL… ONE TREE… NO TREE… AND NO FREE…
  • Girl stay hostel… My hostel safe. Boy calling hostel and i in the hostel pick – ask… hello… Boy say girl… I ask who… He say cousin brother… I ask who cousin who brother… Boy no say… This no happen in my hostel. I stay their watch man – you no worry (this to all the parents) ok…?
  • Girl see boy, boy see girl, our squad see them…Office standing..head down…why come parents ?!
  • These were the words he spoke on a Teacher’s day… on every Teacher’s day – “A doctor cannot make a doctor; A lawyer cannot make a layer; Engineer cannot make engineer; A teacher can maker doctor, lawyer, engineer, teacher”

· # At the ground:
—————–
All of you stand in a straight circle.
There is no wind in the balloon.
The girl with the mirror please comes her…{Means: girl with specs please come here).

· # While punishing students:
———————–
You, rotate the ground four times…
You, go and understand the tree…
You three of you stand together separately.
Why are you late – say YES or NO …..(?)

· # Sir at his best:
—————
Sir had once gone to a film with his wife. By chance, he happened to see one of our boys at the theatre, though the boy did no t see them.
So the next day at s school… (to that boy) – “Yesterday I saw you
WITH MY WIFE at the Cinema Theatre”

· # Sir at his best inside the Class room:
———————————————-
Open the doors of the window. Let the atmosphere come in.
Open the doors of the window. Let the Air Force come in.
Cut an apple into two halves – I will take the bigger half.
Shhh…Quiet, boys…the principal JUST PASSED AWAY in the corridor
You, meet me behind the class. (Meaning AFTER the class..)
This one is cool >> “Both of u three get out of the class.”
Close the doors of the windows please. I have winter in my nose today…
Take Copper Wire of any metal especially of Silver…..
Take 5 cm wire of any length….

· Last but not the least some Jeppiar experiences… Once Sir had come late to a college function, by the time he reached, the function had begun, so he went to the dais, and said, sorry I am late, because on the way my car hit 2 muttons (Meaning goats).

· At Sathyabama college day 2002: “This college strict u the worry no …. U get good marks, I the happy, tomorrow u get good job, jpr the happy, tomorrow u marry I the enjoy”

  • Simply-Logic Technologies

    The man english is poor but he is a real hero of lot of students.. Jeppiaar Rockers 😛